JET Tales: stories from rural Japan
This website is a record of my experiences in the JET Programme as an AET (Assistant English
Teacher) in two Japanese public high schools.
Lagniappe: etiquette
This page includes some elementary tips on general etiquette, as well as dining etiquette. As a
foreigner, it would behoove you to know some of the basics before arriving in Japan. However,
this is not something to stress over too much, since foreigners - especially the newly-arrived - are
frequently not held strictly accountable to the niceties of Japanese manners. Never be afraid to
ask for help or advice (or directions).
"When in Rome..." it can be a lot of fun (and sometimes aggravating) to learn the customs
and try to active like a native. Remember to be true to yourself, too. Maintain your own, unique
perspective and sense of humor. Laugh, laugh like
a loon - especially when someone compliments you for the nth time on your skill
with chopsticks. Etiquette is only a sliver in the slice of life that is your time in Japan.
etiquette: general
- bowing
- lowish bows to any officials, koucho-sensei (principal) and kyoto-sensei (vice-principal) whom
you meet. Medium-ish bows are fine for others; head bobs work after the first couple of meetings
with a particular person. Older people, especially in the countryside, sometimes seem to go
into a bowing frenzy. They'll bow, and you'll bow, and they'll bow again, and you don't know
when to stop, etc... It is charming for the first five minutes, after which it's time to flee.
Persistance is futile.
- shoes
- are not for indoors. Anything with an elevated floor near an entrance (house, school, restaurant,
etc.) usually indicates show-removal. This includes dressing rooms at clothes stores! For example,
frequently the entrance to a house has a small area where shoes are left, and then you step up into
the house itself. House slippers are commonly provided by your host.
Do not wear shoes on tatami mats. They are a pain the in @ss to clean if you track mud all over,
will possibly rot/grow mold/become smelly if you track water all over, and are ridiculously expensive
to replace.
Do not wear your shoes into the toilet-closet. There are, yes I am totally serious, special
bathroom slippers which are only worn in the bathroom. I hereby refrain from ranting about
squat toilets.
- toilets
- (for the newly arrived) At Tokyo, the hotel bathroom will probably have a high tech toilet
with lots of buttons you cannot deciper. Be careful, some of them spray.
See the above note about bathroom slippers.
As you walk around in the larger cities, people will try to give you small packets of tissues. Take
these because most public toilets do not supply toilet paper.
- escalators
- much like driving on a 4-lane street, there is a side for the speedy and another side for the
more stationary. This varies, right or left, but if you do not feel like charging up the escalators,
look to see which side the other standing people have shifted.
etiquette: dining
- "Irasshaimase"
- A welcome greeting from shopkeepers, etc to customers upon entering most stores,
restaurants and bars. Nod or smile - or else ignore them (and prove you were raised in a
barn).
- ordering
- Many restaurants have plastic models of their food on display in a window, usually with
names (in Japanese) and prices. The plastic food model industry must be very lucrative
in Japan. Sometimes you can just point out what you want to your server.
English menus are often unavailable, so it helps if you can at least read hiragana.
- prices
- How much is this/that? ... Kore/Sore wa ikura desu ka?
Prices aren't always listed, which usually indicates that a place is either a) expensive
or b) shady and likely to charge you - a foreigner - too much. When in doubt, ask before
ordering anything
- shoes
- Some (traditional, very nice) places have you remove your shoes at the door, and
you either stash them on a designated shelf or you may be given a plastic bag to put them
into and keep near your table
- In any place which has traditional, tatami-mat seating, shoes are removed before you
ascend to the tatami mats to sit, and are left near your raised eating platform. If you are sitting
in this kind of restaurant, you will be resting on the floor, sometimes provided with thin floor
cushions and sometimes not. Women generally sit on their knees or with their legs tucked
to one side. Men can sit cross-legged. Ladies, if you just cannot stand it (i.e. your legs go numb
and your knees are killing you) just stretch out or sit cross-legged anyway. Internationalization!!
- oshibori
- a hot or cold towel (hot cloths at nice places; plastic-wrapped wipies at most other places)
proferred to you upon sitting. This is used to "clean" your hands before receiving any food. Men
can wipe their faces, too, but it is unusual for Japanese women to do so. Roll or fold it up and
leave it nearby - napkins are (nonexistant) unusual at restaurants, and these towels can be
used to wipe your fingers or small spills.
- chopsticks (hashi)
- 1: Holding the chopsticks. (for those who have never been without
silverware.) Rest the end of one stick in the hollow between your thumb and
forefinger; the middle rests on your ring finger. This stick generally does not move
very much. Hold the second stick as you would a pencil. This piece moves up and
down and basically holds the food against the lower stick. Ta-da! Now practice.
(If you are still confused, go find a picture book.
Be prepared to have your chopstick abilities praised lavishly, regardless if you drop
your food all of the time. "Oh, (your name)-san! You use chopsticks very well!" It is
a very polite, simple phrase - and the repetition may well drive you nutty.
2: Thou shalt not's. do not point with, suck, or gnaw on your chopsticks. Do
not stick them upright in your bowl or rice - this has something to do with
a Buddhist funeral rite: offering food to the dead.
- "Itadakimasu" & "Gochisosama deshita"
- Before eating, say: "I receive" and after finishing your meal: "It was a feast." The
latter is not used as often as the former, except in more formal or traditional settings.
- slurping or otherwise inhaling your food
- is completely okay...but when you go home for vacation, your mother might not
appreciate your new eating habits
- overstaying your welcome
- after eating a meal, you may be sitting around chatting with your friends and
completely unconcerned about the check/bill neatly set by your table. after all,
you have eaten and will leave at your leisure, right? watch out for the after-eating
cups of tea brought to you by your server. this too-subtle-for-foreigners gesture
means that they would appreciate it if you would pay for your meal and move
on. this is especially true in crowded places or near closing hours.
- tipping
- is not practiced in Japan
- paying (just some general notes)
- - you are usually (but not always) required to pay your own way at an "enkai"
(see basic vocab)
- ask about "betsu betsu" for separate bill paying when out with a group of people. Some
places will not allow this.
- some restaurants, especially all-you-can-eat/drink or buffett places, have different
prices for men and women - it is usually cheaper for women. This difference in
prices, if available, would usually be advertised in a visible place near the entrance.
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